Pillow Talk
by BloodFromTheThorn
Summary: Clint and Natasha just want to sleep. Tony's bored. Borderline crack. No slash, Clint/Nat, mentioned Tony/Pep.


_I just had an exam and I needed to relax a little. So this happened._

**..**

Tony didn't know quite what he'd been expecting when he wandered into Clint's room at three in the morning. It certainly wasn't this. That said, he really should have anticipated such a situation, the two assassins had been flirting with each other for months. Still, the two of them curled around each other, peacefully asleep, in Clint's bed was a bit of surprise.

As soon as he walked through the door both of the assassins were awake and alert. He saw Natasha's hand snake under the pillow and then her eyes grow wide when they grasped empty space before she remembered where she was. Tony grinned whilst the pair blinked at him, annoyance warring with confusion on their faces

"Get out of my room Stark," Clint ordered as Nat groaned and turned her back on the billionaire, snuggling into the archer's chest. A vague smile flittered over Clint's face and Tony was about to leave them to their moment in peace, but then he remembered his previous boredom and simply frowned at the pair.

"I was lead to believe that I own this room. And the tower it's in. I can go where I want." Clint growled wordlessly and Nat flipped over again to glare at Tony.

"Stark. Leave us _alone._"

"But I'm bored." He sounded a little like a petulant child.

"Then go and play with your robots. Some people are trying to sleep."

"My robots don't offer thrilling conversation. Except for JARVIS but he's asleep. I think. I'm not really sure if AIs can sleep..." He rambled then snapped his mouth shut when he saw Nat's darkening face.

"Tasha, why is Tony still breathing?" Clint's voice was soft and tired. He had one arm across his eyes and looked very much as though he was praying that they'd all go away.

"Fury was very specific with his orders. Unfortunately, a pulse is required." Clint just groaned again.

"I think it's adorable that you two use Fury as pillow talk. I mean, it's creepy and really messed up but-"

"Stark!" Nat snapped at him, furious. "I swear that if you don't leave this room right now I'm going to shoot you."

"Ah, but you can't because you're not in your bed and _Clint_ doesn't have a Beretta M9*under his pillow." He pulled out the gun in question that he'd found and waved it in front of her.

"You-!" She was actually too angry to speak for a moment. "You went into my room?" Tony shrugged, knowing that unless he wanted to be flung from the top of his tower by an angry assassin, he should play this carefully.

"Well, before I came to find Clint I went looking for you."

"And that searching led to the underside of my pillow?"

"Well, you have a history of squeezing into strange places. Stark Industries, Clint's bed, that _cat suit_..." He trailed off, grinning whilst Nat tried to pull herself back from murderous tendencies.

"What do you _want?" _She demanded and he shrugged.

"I was searching for you for a reason, but I can't quite remember what it was. It wasn't anything important. Then I came looking for Clint because, as previously stated, I'm _bored._"

"You have a very beautiful fiancée waiting for you upstairs. Go and deprive her of sleep."

"Pepper's always grouchy when I wake her up."

"Yes, but Pepper won't try to blow you up. Give me my gun and _get out._"

"If I give you the gun, do you promise not to shoot me?" She glared at him again, then without turning:

"Clint, please tell me you have some kind of weapon in here that I can use to permanently maim Tony."

"Gun in the drawer." He waved his hand vaguely in the direction of the bedside table, and Tasha retrieved the SIG, aiming it for Tony's leg.

"Christ, do all you people have weapons surrounding your beds?" The billionaire muttered darkly, backing away so he could shield himself with the door. He left his head peeking around it so he could still see the assassins. "Some people would say it's paranoia. I'll have you know that the tower's security would keep even S.H.I.E.L.D out."

"It's not S.H.I.E.L.D that's keeping me awake."

"You keep guns around just for me? I'm flattered." With a crack of sound, a bullet hit the wall just next to his head. He flinched violently, before offence jumped in to fill the gap his surprise left. "You didn't even aim! You could have killed me! It's just not-" He was cut off as a second bullet followed its predecessor into the wall. The billionaire left without another word.

"Nicely dealt with," Clint murmured as she curled up into his side.

"Tomorrow night remember to lock the door," she replied softly, before they both went back to sleep.

**..**

_*I should state here that I know nothing about handguns. Or any guns for that matter. Any information is off google._

_Like I said, I just wanted to relax. This is not meant to be taken seriously and I know it's not a masterpiece. That said, I hope you liked it._


End file.
